Asters & Dandelions

The road to redemption after moral injury is a painful one. It is a lonely road only you can take. As many speed bumps, sharp turns and detours that shroud that journey, it is still such a worthy journey. As much hurt I have on my soul to know the depths of pain my journey Continue reading

I vividly remember the day, and the week that followed after my husband asked me for a divorce. I remember reacting defensively and blaming him in those first moments. I remember breaking a door and feeling so much rage, anger, and betrayal realizing the man who asked me to come home, the man who sat Continue reading

All of you know I am no stranger to shining light on the dark places my mind often takes me. As I enter my third decade of life, I still find myself dancing with the demons in my mind. I find myself finding comfort in beautiful dark words written on pages, performed in music, and Continue reading

Those who have read my blog(s) know my childhood was lackluster at best. As so, my young, bitter heart clings to the good memories I have. My first positive memory I can recall was a birthday present; a tiny blonde “beagle” my grandma gave me. I don’t remember how old I was but around five Continue reading

You know what’s hard? When you’re an over thinker who lacks communication skills. Your mind screams millions of ‘what ifs’ and ‘worst case scenarios’; all full of trust issues, self image issues, trauma scars, and inadequate tools to facilitate healthy relationships. You know what’s even harder? Trying to heal yourself and being proven right. How Continue reading

What if I never know what it’s like to not be sad? What if I’m so tired from fighting all these years that I never have the energy to finish the fight? So I spend my whole life tired but still fighting in vein; never allowing myself the grace to rest nor the glory of Continue reading

Living in a world full of absolutes, black and white positions, and go hard or go homers, it is easy for a wandering soul to feel left out and left behind. Some days I wake up and I feel like I’d be willing to throw away every single thing I hold dear to me if Continue reading

“The only way out, is through” That quote has carried me through countless dark times in my life and I truly believe it to be true. I have written and deleted no less than 15 different forms of apologies within this introduction before coming to the conclusion, I am not sorry. This post will not Continue reading

Here we are, about to walk into a new year. We have all overcome some darkness and achieved some greatness in one form or another. We continue to battle a pandemic, millions of people have reinvented themselves, TikTok reinvented the internet. We have had so much growth and change yet here we are, walking into Continue reading

Dear Darkness, I know you’re considered a four letter word. People loathe to admit that you exist within them and they try every gimmick, crystal, and combination of government regulated tic-tacs to rid themselves of you. Find comfort in knowing that, in my eyes, the only thing worse than denying that one has darkness within Continue reading

Raise your hand if you know every facet of who you are. No? Me either. Now, raise your hand if you grew up in a home where you were told exactly what happiness was supposed to look like, success, beauty, wealth. You see, I grew up in a home with lots of black and white Continue reading

I just want to take a moment to thank all of my readers who remain invested in my journey, even when life gets busy and I don’t prioritize my blog as I should and take extended breaks. I look forward to writing more often in the next 9 months! Hello from Korea! If you are Continue reading

Living through this pandemic has brought some obstacles no one could have seen coming. Aside from the major roadblocks such as people not being able to be with their loved ones on holidays, isolation, long lines, and every time you need to run into a store they always seem to be ‘at capacity’, there are Continue reading

Make sure you’re buckled up, all your hands are inside the vehicle, grab some snacks, pause your show, update your will, prepare yourself for this roller coaster. When I began my AIT journey, I met a female; let’s call her Karen. Karen was young and immature but she was kind and we became friends. People Continue reading

She has the power everyday to build him up or tear him down. Every wife is a King Maker. mathewljacobson.com Time to tell my favorite fairy tale: my own! My husband and I met 2 weeks before my fifteenth birthday. We went to the same school but never spoke until he got a job at Continue reading

I want to push out a new blog post, I do but sometimes mental illness clogs up my creative flow. I needed a little help to get this one going so I grabbed a helping hand on Pinterest. I never look for ‘blog post topics’ to get inspiration for my blog because more often than Continue reading

Growing pains are real. People change and people leave. You change and you leave people behind. But what happens when you’ve outgrown where you are and the people surrounding you but you’re stuck? I find myself having those days where nothing is actually wrong but nothing at all is right. I miss the days of Continue reading

Check on your strong friends. Everyone has that friend who never cries. The rock in the storm if you will. That friend breaks too, that friend cries too. That friend is going to be the last one to seek support. The last one to actively seek positivity while drowning in their own negativity.  Ironically, while Continue reading

When I had my son I was blessed enough to stay home with him for the first year of his life. I left pieces of myself behind that year. A piece there, somewhere deep within a mommy group, another somewhere in the makeup drawer I opened maybe five times that year. There was one left Continue reading

The full story: So I’ve tried this blog thing before. I really enjoyed it but felt a little too vulnerable sharing some of my life’s darkest moments for all of the internet. I considered revisiting my old blog and trying to revive it (If you’re interested, here is the link to mom guilt & breast Continue reading